when you find yourself

Find Yourself - Brad Paisley

Recently I've been feeling like I wish I had a little bit more direction in life. For my whole life - up until this past May - I have known exactly what was coming next. Summer would pass and I would go back to school for the next year to further my knowledge, so that I could then go home for the next summer and empty my brain, just to go back the following year to rinse and repeat.

Then I graduated. And now I have a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Warren Wilson College, with a minor in Spanish, and it's not doing much for me. Granted, if I wanted to I could have applied for graduate school and gone on to more education ... and I'm glad that I didn't do that right away, but now I'm feeling, well ... lost. I don't want a career ... I want a next adventure. I don't want to pick something that I have to do for the rest of my life. Luckily - I don't have to. But it would be nice to do something that's a bit more fulfilling than retail.

Teaching perhaps? I'd love to try it before I commit to it. Admission for a cool school up here in New England? I could do that. Admission representative for Warren Wilson in New England? Haha ... that I could definitely do. Cafe/bookstore that provided a place for creativity, relaxing, homework, etc? I could write a book I suppose ... but what to write about. Perhaps I will parallel my dad's book about being a gay parent and write a book about having gay dads. Could be interesting. Probably won't be very profitable for some years as it could/would take a while to write.

So in the mean time I am in search of a next adventure. I dream of traveling. I dream of being a photographer. Or a journalist. But those might be next-next adventures. After I have some more of this thing they call "life experience."

Can I just go back to school now? There are so many classes I wish I had had time to take - photography, ceramics, history, creative writing, english, biology, chemistry, astronomy ... the list could go on for ages. But as it assures me in the song by Brad Paisley:

"When you go through life
So sure of where you're headin'
And you wind up lost and it's
The best thing that could've happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that's when you find yourself."

Cheers to life. And the next adventure. Hopefully it'll fall in my lap here soon.